I’ll tell you how bad. Bad. As in stinky. As in poor at my craft. As in confusing, unfocused, and cotton-headed. It’s true that I was sick yesterday and not completely well when I went in, that all contributed. But I also let time pressure get to me and hurried when I shouldn’t have, and all the other stuff teachers aren’t supposed to do. Hell, when one of your best students is getting lost, it’s a sure sign *you’ve* lost something!
I did tell them it wasn’t a great day so they were pretty forgiving and patient. Also, it wasn’t entirely me – we had several interruptions and there was a lot of disruptive energy moving around in general. I’m writing about this because I realized today that although I don’t want my students to ever have to take care of me, there are days when I absolutely need their understanding and patience. A small part of me does want them to reassure me that even in my spazziness, I didn’t do any harm.
It’s awkward and uncomfortable to admit that, after I’ve spent so much time saying “nope, no support from them, only support *to* them.” I never said that out of pride, I just don’t want to take advantage of them. I don’t want to become one of those people who they feel they have to add to their “take care of” lists. Somehow, I don’t think they cared all that much. No one was mean, no one yelled, and we got through our lesson.
Thanks to whatever higher powers (or not) who’d like to take credit. I’m not sacrificing anything to you, but if you want to say you helped us get through the day, I’ll back you up.