Lost threads

I’m so frustrated right now I could [insert action indicating frustration here]. June was a bad writing month.  I did get some good writing, but it was sporadic and scattered.  What I’m discovering is that if I don’t write regularly, I lose the thought threads that bind the larger story.  It feels impossible to sit down after three weeks away and do anything constructive in 30 minutes.  Hell, doing anything constructive in 30 minutes seems impossible anyway, so I don’t know why I bothered.

I just feel pissed at myself.  Pissed because I let a month slip away and the feelings of urgency, of “this needs to be in the world NOW!” are crowding out all my other thoughts.  Even when I schedule out writing time, I’m lucky if I can get a good 60-90 minutes, which seems so little.  When I read about artists and writers who spend hours and hours daily working, working, working, I feel small and cowardly – as if I’m not making a big enough sacrifice for my art.

I imagine I’m not the only one who feels like this, though.  Those of us who have day jobs, families, obligations, etc etc, probably struggle with this to some degree, but it sucks.  I can feel this piece of work trying desperately to get out, and I’m just not doing it the service it deserves today.

3 thoughts on “Lost threads

  1. But you are writing. You’re updating your blog with impressive regularity, keeping that muscle supple and strong. Don’t stress that your output isn’t what you think a “writer” accomplishes in a day or week or whatever. Everyone’s process/routine is different. Sometimes downtime is an opportunity to assimilate work done, or new information. My suggestion: if working in a vacuum isn’t productive, join a critique group or take a class or workshop to give yourself deadlines. Nothing gets a book written like a deadline, darlin’.

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  2. I’m certain you’re correct and re-focusing has already calmed the waters 🙂 I’m getting close to having a coherent chunk ready for first readers, and that also makes me feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

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