If I could not fail

What would I do if I could not fail? 

Write, illustrate, embellish things so they are more beautiful and charming, write, edit, publish, produce music, coordinate collaborative writing projects for ‘non-writers’. 
Who would I be if I could not fail? 

A storyteller, a prolific, vociferous, luminous user of language and illustration, an intentional creator using words and worlds and lines and curves as my tools, a spiritual firestarter.
What would my life look like if I could not fail?

Expansive, full of breath and breathing and movement – inward, outward, up and down, laptops and monitors, speakers and headphones, stacks of books and manuscripts waiting for the editing pen, calendar with work and fun and stillness pencilled in, craft and art boxes neatly stacked and haphazardly opened, treasure strewn around the makerspace, large tables with windows and light and places to doodle, 3D printer stashed somewhere, silvery sleek tech rounding out the creative picture, comfortable, unique clothing (some of my own design and  making)
What would my life sound like if I could not fail?

Music, beats, sounds, electronica and vintage, lowfi and classic, publishers calling to check in on the progress of my latest project, friends and strangers discussing my writing, the New York Times reviewing a novel I’ve written, an interview with Oprah, discussions with today’s feminist activists and writers, correspondence with my writing heroines and heroes, lessons in illustrations and illustrating, requests for my illustrations from other writers, an exclamation of relif – great sighs of contentment – when I realize I’m living in comfort and ease, the sounds of friends’ voices in my home – enjoying a party, or salon series I’m hostessing, my publisher making an arrangement to have my book(s) put into libraries, turned into an audiobook, perhaps discussions of a screenplay
What would my life feel like if I could not fail?

So much relief, indescribable lightness from letting go of the guilt and shame and worry and constant awareness of pain and suffering, replaced with acceptance, compassion, and immense joy in creating beauty that celebrates life


One thought on “If I could not fail

  1. Wow!!! I can just hear God rejoicing at seeing your fearless life lived, saying, “now what was so hard about that?” This is likely one of the most important excursions into self inquiry one can make, I think. Brava!!


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