to give up yet? Why not? Why shouldn’t I give up in a world so full of hatred and cruelty that three heavily armed men would go to a place where developmentally disabled people go for help and support? Why didn’t I give up after Sandy Hook? After the close to 1000 mass shootings since 20 kindergarten children and six adults were murdered?
I don’t know.
Other than committing suicide, I don’t know what giving up would mean. Should I cash in whatever I have, get a little money and move to some small island that will probably be below sea level in another dozen years? Move to a small village in northern Canada or Alaska, knowing it’ll warm up in the next dozen years? Move somewhere in the US that’s off the grid, knowing that there will likely be condos and a Starbucks next door in the next dozen years?
I don’t know what I expected, but I know living in a country where anyone can arm themselves for combat and take off on a killing spree in a social services building wasn’t it. I hear all the time that people are infinitely complex, that life is hard, and that simply getting up each day is a triumph. Days like today don’t feel like triumphs. They feel like massive, horrific failures.
We have failed, as a nation, to provide any sort of reasonable example of what it means to be human. I realize this is a blanket condemnation but our track record on gun violence and mass shootings, unacknowledged, unaddressed domestic terrorism, and the growing list of other acts of physical aggression and violence leave little doubt.
I don’t know if I have hope for this world, or for humanity as a species. I’m not sure we deserve the gift of hope.